The City of Dreams is just as magical as it looks like. Fulfilling a million dreams everyday, Mumbai and its family gets bigger and bigger each second. Mumbaikars, as welcoming as their city, are amazing people surviving in the hard and fast life this city offers. But there’s a limit to everything. There’s an extent to which your stupidity in this city will be tolerated. Moving to the city? Here’s some of the things you should never do in Mumbai –
1. Praise Delhi
Low key, every Mumbaikar is not a huge fan of Delhi and its people. No, it’s not because Coldplay decided to do a secret gig at Hauz Khas and not Andheri (added to it though), this rivalry goes way before anyone can imagine. You might be a total Delhi lover, but please keep all the praise to yourself. You can talk to the walls or stand in front of the mirror and sing ballads about the awesomeness of Delhi and its people, but shut it in front of Mumbaikars. WE DON’T WANT TO KNOW HOW AWESOME DELHI IS. THANK YOU.
2. Criticize Vada Pav
Or Misal Pav, Usal Pav, Pav Bhaji or anything that is complementary with Pav. Vada Pav is the staple diet of Mumbai. It is more filling and cheap than any of those Italian fancy pizzas can ever be. Sure, sometimes when you have the money, you eat other things. But when you’re broke as hell in the end of the month, who’s your true friend, huh? It’s Vada Pav. And please don’t be an asshole, Vada Pav is not “gareebon ka burger”, save all your sass for the end of the month when you’ll be starving to death because of no money.
3. Hate on the language
Why say “aaiye, baithiye, chaliye” when you can say “aa, baith, chal”? Logically speaking, isn’t it time saving to say it in one breath that using two breaths? Think about it. “Aaiye” doesn’t always mean you respect the person. You can be “aaiye” in one moment and “what a bitch” in the other. It’s never really about respect. So don’t go cribbing around how Mumbaikars address people, it’s just called saving time. Thanks.
4. Call Gateway of India as India Gate
The most heinous crime you can commit in this city is call Gateway of India as India Gate. They’re both not the same. I repeat, THEY’RE BOTH NOT THE SAME. India Gate is a monument that adds to the beauty of Delhi, and Gateway of India is a part of Mumbai. They’re both different monuments built for different occasions. Before moving to the city, please make it a point to get your history right, otherwise you’re just inviting trouble.
5. Hate on the people
Mumbaikars are the most fun loving and beautiful people that you’ll ever find. Sure, they’re all in a hurry and don’t really have time on their hands to socialize a lot, but if you see the spirit of people during festivities, you’ll go crazy. They may be rough around the edges, but you can always count on them to help you at your worst. Irrespective of whether you know them or not, they’ll be around to solve your doubts and guide you when you need it. Don’t judge them beforehand, you’ll know how sweet they are when you’re in a problem. That’s all that matters, right?
Because Mumbai is the best.