Never, I repeat, never is a sibling a blessing. They’re just unwanted human beings you have to put up with for the rest of your life. Life was all roses and daisies before they came into our lives and took all the thunder away from us. Earlier, it used to be all about us, our clothes, our first birthdays, haircuts, everything, and things changed when their arrival was announced. Nobody even prepared us to deal with this work of the devil human being, and all of a sudden we weren’t important. Do you even know how tormenting it is to see them take away all our happiness just because they’re younger to us? Well, it’s payback time. How to get even with your younger sibling –
- Push them down the stairs and watch them roll down there. It’s where they belong.
- Don’t respond to whatever they say. Pretend they are invisible. Walk right through them pushing them down.
- Put a huge spider in their bag. Maybe then they’ll know how it feels when something unexpected comes along.
- When they go for a bath, lock the door from the outside so you never have to see their face again.
- Delete the last episode of their favourite tv show so that they watch the whole show and don’t know what happens in the end.
- Replace their shampoo with veet and don’t say a word. (too harsh, don’t do it)
- Hack into their facebook account and post a status saying how they love their crush.
- Keep fake calling them in the middle of the night so that they can’t sleep properly.
- Find out what they fear the most and stick a picture of the same in their room so that they see it every morning they wake up.
- Change their Whatsapp status to “all my friends suck and I don’t wish to be in contact with any of them.”
- Post a really ugly picture of their on Facebook and ruin their social life.
- Remove their sim card from the phone and hide it somewhere they can never find it.
- Delete their playlist and put all Taher Shah songs so they have a good time travelling to wherever they’re going.
- Gather all your relative around and talk about their failures in front of everyone. The shame might get to them.
- Hide all of their beloved clothes replacing them with shabby ones so they go to work looking like a dork (not that they don’t look like one already).
Or you could just kill them.