Being a child in India is hard. We may have our own babies one day, but we’ll still have to take permission from parents for going somewhere. People keep saying after 18 years of age, we grow up, but in reality, we don’t. Actually, we do but our parents always think we’re 3 year old toddlers. For them, whenever we go out, we’re either getting hit by a truck or kidnapped by strangers. And that’s true for parties too. Asking for permission and getting one is not so simple. So maybe these tricks can help you out the next time you want to go for a party –
1. Emotional Blackmail
The age old trick from the books is this trick that will work till the end of time. Emotional blackmail is something us kids learn from our mother’s womb. It requires no training, it’s in the genes. Our parents have also done it, and now we’re taking forward the legacy. A party or night out are words you need to utter keeping in mind the environment of your house. We’re not white kids, we have issues when it comes to parties. Getting a permission to attend one is hard but don’t worry. Nothing works better as emotional blackmail. Here’s how you go through with it. For this to work, you must know about the party at least a week before it’s happening. As soon as you get to know, start with your drama. Drama comes easy too, we’ve all grown up watching Bollywood. Begin with pointing out all the times you’re parents have literally ignored you. Use random dates because they say they remember everything, but they never do. Say they never take you out for a vacation and are always busy with their work, ignore you and don’t even apologize. Compare them to the Sharmas who always go out during holidays. And keep in mind, tears play an important role.
2. Plan it out
For everything to work, you need to know about the plan beforehand. If you get to know about it a day before, it’s not gonna work dude. It’s hard. So the process of planning is complex and needs to be noted down. You need to make sure when and where is the party. If it’s nearby and early, a little planning is enough. But if it’s far and late in the night, put your mind into it for hours before you have a full proof plan. Days to the party is inversely proportional to the amount of work you have to do. If it’s less day, more work. If you are not able to put in the amount of effort, sit at home and watch TV. Planning involves giving time to all the activities your parents want you to indulge in, but you never really did because you’re lazy. Being lazy got you nowhere so get up and start doing them. Waking up early, making tea for them, going for a run, then coming back to help them out with something parents always struggle in, talking to your siblings and the most important thing, interaction. You need to make sure by the end of everything, you get to go to that damn party.
3. Valar Dohaeris
Parents want to be pampered. Their grown up babies who just want someone to do all the work for them. That’s the whole point of giving birth to kids, to make them do stuff they don’t want to do. Now obviously you never did anything for them, that was not your thing, but now the situation is different. You’ve got to get to a party and your parents are the only obstacles between you and it. Make working for them your agenda. Synchronize your sleep time according to them and start your activities. Take your mom to that grocery store she’s wanted to go to, help her clean the house one day or help her while cooking food. Make it a point to be present for them whenever they need you and whenever they don’t. However, you have to be smart. This activity has to last long enough so that your parents don’t get to know this is one of your tricks. You have to be smooth and cool, don’t overdo it. And always keep this one point in mind, your mom has a chief role in everything. Even if you’re able to please her, you’re good to go.
4. Avoid social contact
All that time you’ve been wasting on Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, that has to stop. You can’t have everything in life. Sacrifices have to be made in order to get something. And this isn’t just something, this is one night of getting shit drunk and acting crazy. You can avoid people for a few days. Don’t meet your friends prior two weeks from the party, don’t attend their calls, don’t message them. The only people you must talk to are your family members. Ask mom about how she handles and holds the house together. Ask dad what has been worrying him at the office. See whether your sibling is doing well or no. During this period, your siblings will piss you off the most, but you’ve got a party to attend. Keep your focus intact on what is important, hitting your sibling and getting grounded, or attending a kick-ass party. You can note all the times your siblings got to you, and them hit them after the party, but not before. Keep in mind, you’re promoting a happy homely environment.
5. Books are your new best friends
Remember the time you had your exams approaching and your mom kept telling you to study but you never did? And then you failed or got less marks and since then your mom believes you’re good for nothing? This is your time to make thing right. It’s not that you can’t study, you choose to not study and mess it up. The reason of course is laziness. But now, you have the perfect motivation. All those textbooks that lie in the corners of your room, pick them up and get to work. Finish them all in a day, buy new textbooks, study them to. Take quizzes online, solve all question papers, don’t come out of your room except to pee and eat. Leave your phone with your mom and just study day and night. This is going to do wonders for you. Your parents will themselves come to you and beg of you to take a break. That’s when you drop the P-Bomb. There is no chance they’ll refuse you from going to the party.
Or just sneak out.