You’re a dedicated employee, you love your job and really like going to the office everyday. Your boss is kind too. But one in awhile, you just want to stay home. And how would you do that? No, don’t say you’re sick. Because calling in sick is too mainstream. Like your boss has always told you, think out of the box.
There are those days when you wake up and cannot find a motivation to get to work. You want a day off, want to Netflix and chill with your bed and roam around in pjs. You want to binge watch your TV show, take hours for showering, dance around your house with no pants and eat all day. You’re not sick, but you need a day off. All you need is a little “me time” to relax. But who’s going to explain that to your boss? And not that it’s unclear, but he ain’t giving you a day off to do stupid stuff in your sweats. He needs you at work.
Don’t you worry, we have a list of innovative ways you could ask your boss for a day-off.
- Wake up, get ready and go to work like everyday. Just today, you’d go with a box of tissues in your hand. Pretend sneeze all over the place, on desks, on people, on your boss. And you’re give the day off. I know it’s gross, but hey, as long as it works.
- Call up your boss and sob like a three year old who’s denied toys. Your reasons can wary from girlfriend/boyfriend problems to you pulling a push door. Just sob, discuss your issue with them and keep sobbing. “Why don’t you take a day off and relax?”, so effortless.
- Wake up and do nothing. When your boss calls up, tell him that you’re interacting with the aliens today and you can’t make it today. After an awkward silence, immediately say “aliens said hi to you boss” and this is where he’ll hang up.
- Go to your office like everyday but act strange this time. Keep talking when people are not around you, that’ll freak them out. When your boss calls you in the cabin, pretend like you’re holding the door for someone. He’s sending you home.
- Get your boss some flowers, greeting cards and keep complimenting them on how good they look. If you both are of the same gender, your boss will tell you to go home. If you both are of the opposite gender, gather your stuff already, they’re impressed.
- Show up at work with red puffy eyes. Take a lot of glycerin with you. Just sit there at your desk, crying all the time, not paying attention to anything. When your boss calls you in his office, don’t respond, just keep on shedding tears. He’ll send his driver to drop you home.
- Act like you’re a Tarzan. Jump from one corner of the office to another. Keep making those weird noises and running like a maniac around the place. People will judge you but you don’t stop your thing, you’re Tarzan. And this is how you get a day-off.
- Keep falling down in the office. While walking, while sitting, while standing, just keep falling off to the ground. When someone asks what’s happening to you, say gravity is angry at you because you ate the apple that fell down. You may be sent to a mental asylum but anything for a day-off.
- Tell one of your friends to come to your work place and fake hit you on your face, and then run away. Use tomato ketchup for blood and show it trickling down your nose. Your boss will offer to take you to the hospital but refuse and say you will go alone. You’ll be granted a leave for five days. That’s friendship goals, by the way.
- Start a rumour that the next episode of Game Of Thrones is leaked and Tyrion dies in it. Everyone will believe and now you don’t need a day-off because your boss has left the office too. Go home and order some pizza. Don’t show your face in the office for at least 2 days though.
If you don’t get a leave even after using all of this, get your ass to work as soon as possible and pray that your boss doesn’t fire you, because they’ve already read this.