Hello there, you! Yes, you, who immediately clicked on the link because you could relate to it very well. Don’t worry, there’s a million of us still waiting for that “special someone” who’s going to be the center of our universe and everything we imagined it would be. I think it’s time we all wake up and realize that nothing of that sort is happening. We’re all firm believers of ‘why fall in love, when you call fall asleep’ theory, and it’s tough to move on from that. Dedicated especially to everyone who’s single and happy, here are 15 signs that you’re going to be single forever (whoever said it was a bad thing) –
- The concept of anti-socialism was invented by you. You’ve never liked people, you never will. You go all ‘noooope’ when it comes to talking to new people.
- You may be good at heart but you’re rude as fuck upfront. You make offensive comments about people which are a joke to you, but it doesn’t go too well with the others.
- It is difficult for normal people to understand your sense of humour. It’s a high level thing which is why not everyone laughs at everything you say.
- You might be weird and stupid yourself, but your standards are pretty high. You’re not easily impressed by anyone which is why it takes a lot of effort to please you.
- You’re in a committed relationship with food which takes up half the time of your day. It’s impossible to talk to you when you eat, that is always, so there’s never really a good time to approach you.
- When you’re friends try to set you up with random people they know, you always try to avoid taking their calls. If they’re able to deceive you into it, you pretend to be the most boring person ever.
- Nobody can share a bed with you because once you’re asleep, you don’t care on whom your limbs are resting. You are all over the bed, making it difficult for anybody else to sleep comfortably.
- You’re not a morning person, at all. If you don’t have coffee as soon as you wake up, “good morning beautiful” texts will always be replied as “yeah you too asshole” by you. #SorryNotSorry
- You’ve never really been a fan of sharing. The idea of sharing food, wine, table, kisses, or just anything else is not what you picture yourself doing in the near future.
- You already have a pact with your best friend that says you both would be moving in together if you don’t find someone till 40. You low key want that to happen which is why you don’t want to date someone.
- You like animals more than you like people. If there was a dog on a street and a cute guy/girl right opposite him, you’re more likely to go and talk to the dog rather than the person.
- Your idea of a perfect evening is noodles with manchurian gravy, a bottle of wine and binge watching Sex and The City. There’s nothing you want more than all of this.
- There might be a lot of things you excel at, but flirting is definitely not your forte. You just cannot get yourself to say cheesy pick up lines or even act sexy.
- You have that one friend who’s life is just a book of horrific relationships. They’re miserable and needy all the time. You see them and be like “I don’t want to be that!”
- It’s difficult for you to open up to people easily. By the time you do, they’ve either lost interest in you or cannot handle the depth of your soul. Which is why you’ll find it difficult to connect with people.
But you’re awesome, you beautiful creation of God!