If the title was able to grab your attention, you’re one of us. Welcome to the not so girly girls club, the best thing to happen to humanity. Beyonce’s “Who Run The World, Girls” lyrics should be changed to “Who Run The World, Not So Girly Girls”, because we sure do run the world. Here’s a toast to being clumsy, weird, hilarious us, without whom the world wouldn’t have been such a happy place to live in. A list of all the things every not so girly girl will be able to relate to –
- Instagram Hashtag #Buns doesn’t only make you jealous, but makes you want to get inside the screen and rip off the other girl’s face, because when you try to flaunt a bun, you end up looking like a homeless person, a teddy bear or a boy, nothing else. And it’s so disappointing to see that even your hair won’t cooperate in making you look pretty. Why hair, why? What did I ever do to you? Is this why I combed you day and night? Who am I kidding, I didn’t comb you a lot of times.
- You dress, not to impress, but to feel comfortable. If it was in your hands you could show up wearing long t-shirts with no pants, and dance till you drop at a club, maybe more than that. If only the society wasn’t so ruthless. You never got the concept of dressing anyway. On your girl groups with the gang, you never understood the need to discuss what clothes to wear at a party, and when someone asked whether to dress pretty or homeless, you are ALWAYS team homeless. You go, girl!
- The purse of a typical girly girl has the following things – a hairbrush, lipstick of various shades, body spray, nail art kits, eye liners, mascaras, kajals, nail paints, eye shadows, blushers; to cut it short, the whole Lakme range. The purse of a typical not so girly girl contains – wait, what? What purse? That’s right, be it a party or an interview, we carry bags, containing the a packet of chips, because you can faint anytime of the day due to hunger, and a water bottle, because it’s a necessity. Some crumpled papers from decades that just keep piling up in the small chained compartment of the bag, that can go unnoticed till the end of time, and some chocolate wrappers, that’s it.
- Whoever invented dresses and gowns was a sadist man who liked the ladies to suffer, at least that’s what you believe. Wearing dresses is not your thing at all, because A) they don’t look good on you and steal the little girly aspect that’s left in you, and B) you have single handedly mastered all the positions that one can sit in and be comfortable, that just cannot be tried wearing a dress. At every party you suggest you girl gangs to wear jeans or some kind of pants, because you definitely don’t want to be the only one not wearing a dress. But when they go against your will and all gang up against you wearing a dress, you start questioning your friendship.
- Dates haven’t been your thing at all. Infact, you try to avoid dates, especially the fancy ones. Firstly because you just cannot find the motivation to get up and dress cute leaving behind a perfectly comfortable environment back at home, just for a guy who’s probably not even going to remember your name after two months. Secondly because to meet a guy, you have to dress, and I’ve already established the fact about how much we all love dressing up. And lastly, because you are very awkward around guys. They are either your homies, with whom you can have the most disgusting talks ever, or they’re guys who make you feel weird; you go deaf around them, start acting all strange, have the most non-funny responses and the most clumsiest reactions to everything. Dating is hard!
- From clumsy, I remembered that we’re all clumsy. Not only around guys, but with everything. Has it ever happened to you when you’ve only walked from the bedroom to the kitchen, but magically things just keep falling on the way with just one touch. Boy, some substances are so delicate. If you mom is home, it’s not a good time at all. It’s like these things are conspiring against you to see you suffer. And it’s not just at home. At parties, you drop drinks at every place. At the movies, you drop popcorn on yourself and around. At restaurants, you keep dropping spoons making that annoying noise. The chair isn’t comfortable, so you keep moving it, the sleeping position isn’t comfortable, so you spend an hour in the night finding one. It’s literally so hard!
- Poets and writers have said that a girl’s laugh is heavenly and magical. They sure didn’t mean ours. Not everything makes you laugh, not every menial joke is able to strike your sense of humour, but if something does, God help the people around you. Your laugh is probably what Satan wakes up to, because it most definitely is beyond decibel capacity of humans. But you don’t care, and you shouldn’t, as it’s rare that you find something funny. You’re allowed to laugh as loud and hard as you want. There’s no taxes on laughing.
But hey, you don’t have to change yourself because the society says so. You’re fabulous, just the way you are.
“You are terrifying and strange and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love.”
Always be yourself.