Horror is a genre that is widely liked and appreciated by people all around the world. While Indian horror movies are no way near to being scary, American horror movies are all the same except a few that are really out of the box movies scaring audiences worldwide. The storyline of most horror movies are the same, and if you don’t follow the genre, here’s your chance to get to know what it is all about. Every horror movie in the world –
1. A moving family
A typical modern day horror movie starts with a family sitting in the car going to a new place they have shifted to. Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve always wondered that why do these people choose houses that have to lie near a creepy neighbourhood where there’s no soul around. You’ll not see anyone on the street ever, and there’s always going to be weird huge tree near the house which seems like there’s some voodoo thing put up on it. This has single-handedly ruined moving day for everyone in the world.
2. Kids come in three
Families in horror movies are always the same. In the opening shot of every movie, you’ll see a couple sitting on the front seat with THREE kids in the back. The eldest will be a rebellious teenager who’s upset with the moving thing because his/her life will be disrupted as this place is on another planet altogether. The middle child is the one who keeps asking stupid questions in the car keeping the conversation alive. The youngest child is too busy involved in their own damn self to notice that they’re life is going to change.
3. Ghosts approach kids
In every horror movie, it’s the kids that start noticing these movements made by ghosts. I don’t know what’s the deal with this, except for one that these ghosts are such jerks. They steal toys, dolls and every other thing owned by kids to creep them out. The youngest child will always start interacting with the ghosts as their friends, and when they tell their parents about these imaginary friends, the parents don’t give a rat’s ass. They brush it off saying the kid is just joking. No, you fool, Satan resides in your house. Get up and investigate.
4. Following voices
In real life, if people heard voices coming from the dark side of the room, the first instinct is to cover yourself in a blanket and go to sleep. If the noises don’t stop, you run out of the room and escape the house as soon as possible. In horror movies, things happen in a different manner. Instead of running away, you get a torch and follow these voices because you’re a fool. Voices at 3 pm in the afternoon can be a call for going to Mcdonald’s, but voices at 3 am in the morning is surely coming from hell. It’s basic ghost knowledge, yo!
5. Parents think kids are psychos
Whenever the child in a horror movie goes to tell their parents how a ghost has been living in their house, the parents don’t even try to understand what’s going on. That’s just the daily life of every middle-class Indian child whose parents won’t even listen to a word they say. Watching American horror movies makes you feel better because they treat their kids in the same way. 99 percent of the haunting could be avoided if just for once, they would listen to their children and move out of the house immediately.
6. Parents hear voices too
In the second half of the movie, the adults of the house realize that they’re kids were not joking around. There’s something off about the house and now they get shit scared. If only you listened to your child, you fool! But now it’s too late. The ghost has already possessed one of the children and they have no idea what to do now. It must be mentioned here that the adults in the house get more scared than the children. Way to set an example, guys.
7. Creepy closet
If the horror movie you’re watching doesn’t have a creepy closet kept in the attic, it’s not a horror movie. This closet is the root cause of all the happenings inside the house, and this is what the kids are attracted to the most. I don’t really know what’s so fascinating about a confined small space that these ghosts love residing in, but they seem to really enjoy scaring the shit out of everyone else from here. Nobody wants to get rid of this awful closet even though it’s not even that fancy because typical Indian mindset “free ka hai toh rakh lete hain.”
8. Approach the priest
When crosses in the house have started turning upside down, you call a priest who can help you out with driving the spirits away from your beautiful new house. Packing and moving away is not an option because we would love to live in a house that was once infested by demons and be chill. The priest has to be an old guy who wants to see the ghosts for himself and consider cleansing. There’ll be a scene that is common in every movie, where the priest asks questions to the ghost and gets terrified. The ghost reveals its intentions in one go and they get ready to perform an exorcism.
The most dramatic part of a horror movie is the exorcism. Characters you haven’t even seen before come to see this scariest part in the movie and resent it as soon as they enter the premises. At the exorcism, you’ll see the possessed person as the center of attraction for obvious reasons, the priest holding the Holy Bible right in front of the possessed person, and everybody else in the background wondering what the fuck is going on here. Reciting a few psalms from the Bible irritates the ghost and after a lot of emotional and physical drain, the ghost gives up and leaves the body. Humans are just too much.
10. Happily ever after
Like every Bollywood movie, the end of most horror movies is a happy one. When the ghost is gone, everyone realizes how much they love each other and start hugging. If you think about it, the ghost actually wanted to bring the family members closer to each other, maybe that was the ghost’s aim after all. The priest is thanked for his amazing exorcism skills, the assistants are thanked for being there to increase the manpower and the house is ghost free. Who doesn’t get thanked all this while? The ghosts. That’s just downright rude. Maybe that’s why they keep possessing human beings.
The script for your next horror movie.