Finding a place to rent in today’s world is more complicated than Finding Fanny. So many people all around, who cannot afford to buy their own place look for houses to rent. But problems increase in extent when you are a bachelor looking for a house to rent. Everything on your to-do list will eventually be achieved, but finding a place, no. It may happen though, perhaps in a world where unicorns exist. Even if you do find a place, it is a huge task to stay there for a long time. There are so many things you need to take care about when you are meeting the landlord like proper dress code, etiquette, and everything you would do if you were to meet your partner’s parents. What you should watch out for are these five problems every bachelor/single person faces while finding an accommodation.
Problem Number One: The Standard “You’re not married” Stare down
The most annoying problem that all bachelors face is not getting a place because of not being married. And if you are a guy, may the lord be with you. What is annoying about this problem is that how does it matter whether a person is married or not? Do you want their spouse to cook meals for you or wash your clothes? Do you need minions that you look around for more family members of a future tenant? Dilli waali aunties at weddings are not half as scary as crazy landlords asking you your relationship status. Even if they give you the house on rent, be prepared to be nagged by your landlords on little things and eventually, thrown out of the house in the middle of the night for unknown reasons. Being frank is not going to be helpful at all if you are getting an apartment with your partner. That is the worst mistake you can do. Live in relationships are seen as a threat to the world. Under any circumstances, do not mention it at all.
Problem Number Two: Expectation vs. Reality
“3 BHK luxurious apartment with Jacuzzi and sea facing windows, maple wood flooring and indoor swimming pool” – The ad that is given for the apartment.
“1 room with a broken toilet, creek facing windows and a fish tank as an excuse for a swimming pool” – What the apartment really is.
This is such a big problem while looking for an apartment; you don’t know what you might be stepping into. It is so not funny when you are told something different, and it turns out to be something completely different. And God forbid if you rent an apartment without seeing it though your own eyes, you are in a deep, deep trouble. Landlords are like children, they make up imaginary stories to get what they want (here, to make you rent the apartment). As William Shakespeare would say, “Expectation is the root of all heartache”; expect the unexpected, especially when it comes to an apartment.
Problem Number Three: Dangerous Landladies
People who can bring in a lot of chaos in your already messed up life are the dangerous landladies who are the opposite of a coconut, soft from outside but dead hard in the heart. They will try to make light conversation with you, but beware, you are being judged simultaneously and any mistake you make while casually talking to her is going to be used against you. They will not only not give their apartment on rent to you, but also tell everyone she knows about how they should also not entertain you. Such aunties are like exes, they don’t want your happiness, they like seeing you miserable. The only way to be safe from them is to watch your step while talking to them. Try to be as religious as you can. Reading old epics can help you a lot. Try to throw in a holy reference every minute and keep giving compliment every second.
Words to not utter while talking to Dangerous Landladies –
Girlfriend, ex girlfriend, girl who is a friend (if you are a guy);
Boyfriend, ex boyfriend, boy who is a friend (if you are a girl);
Smoking, drinking, parties and night outs are off limits.
Problem Number Four: The Night Factor
If you work in call centers or any place where you have to do night shifts, you are discarded as a member of the society. Renting a place is going to be a difficult task, because you are just not a member of the society, that is all. Landlords do not want to rent to people who do night shifts because they are not a member of the society. On a serious note, what is so disturbing about this is that some people work hard at a time when others sleep. That in my opinion is such a tough job to do. Partying or being out in the night is not considered “decent”, and if you do it, you are not eligible for the apartment because coming home late night is not fine with the landlords. There is no logical explanation as to why this happens, but it happens. It’s there. As a paying guest, I still understand that it might disturb their sleep after doing so many hours of labour. But when the whole apartment is to be given on rent, it is not clear as to how that would affect the landlords. It remains a mystery and probably it always will.
Problem Number Five: “What do you do for a living?”
In case you are successful in answering all the questions correctly, it all depends on “what do you do for a living?” I don’t know how, but this is a very important criteria for getting an apartment on rent. A direct no-no for jobs which are not of standard in the eyes of the landlord. Basically, to get an apartment, you have to get into a field of the landlord’s choice. Aspiring engineers and doctors win here as well because everyone else is a waste of time in their eyes. You are going to get caught even if you fake being an engineer, because you eventually will have to give tuition to the landlord’s son or daughter, which comes along with being an engineer. So if you are neither of the two socially acceptable professions, you are not getting an apartment my friend.
To sum it up, trying to rent an apartment is hard. Make sure you find the right guidance and be able to solve all these problems. What might help is flattery, and the ability to lie like it’s the truth and of course, tolerance.